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I realized most things I start, I don't finish.

I get motivated and inspired and basically crap out due to life issues or just plain lack of steam.

But....

after 4 months of being off/on Raw I want to continue this struggle, yes I say struggle because I'm yo-yoing back and forth.

Today I take a stand. 3 days before lovely Thanksgiving, I give it a go AGAIN. I need to let go of some of my procrastinational tendencies and focus on my end goal. My health. Now I would love to continue to drag Oliver through this but I think I'm making him nuts with my fanaticism. So perhaps the key to my success is to continue to chronicle this excursion to healthy enlightenment.

So I'm off to make a smoothie (which I really do appreciate and love) and then to get my son from preschool and then to keep plugging on.

Day 16: WOW

So I am struggling with emotional neediness of bad food. My body now recognizes that there is no nutrition in it and pays quite painfully for ingesting it. To date, I have indulged a total of 4 times in 16 days. Which in my book is quite a turn around. And I truly feel, I'll be able to reduce the amount of times I splurge.

I wake up in the morning CRAVING my green smoothie, which I am drinking now.

spinach, flax oil, aloe vera juice, broccoli sprouts, frozen banana, cherries, and strawberries.

Oh green yumminess, how it energizes me. I also had a tablespoon of bee pollen and some probiotics.

Thats it for now!

Out of Order: Day 8

There was a break in my posting.. this is day 8 from my RawFu site, which is an awesome way to find support for this new lifestyle
Visit Raw Fu



I have to say this new way of eating ( or really old depending on how you look at it) has been eye opening and exhilarating. We've run into a small pickle as we're trying to feed a family of 5 and payday is days away but we're holding strong. The kids are only quasi raw as they are eating the last of the "cooked" food. I'm very inspired by the rawfoodfamily (http://www.therawfoodfamily.com/home.php) and would love for my 4 year old to reach this level but I also have to deal with other people!

My parents are HORRIBLE junk food addicts and my son's father just the other day was telling me 'don't brainwash my son into yelling at me for making macaroni and cheese". How can I not want to tell everyone. ''DON'T FEED MY SON CRAP!!!" I haven't felt this kind of well, passion for something in a while, that makes me want to just shout out to everyone that I know how to make them feel better.

I currently work as a mental health counselor in an inpatient psychiatric setting and I watch the slop they are forced to eat, then swallow it down with a pharmaceutical cocktail. It kinda makes me feel crazy. And just how do you try to explain to someone living on a very small stipend to go eat organic raw food, when what they really can afford, is a month's worth of top ramen.

That's it for now. I needed to rant.

Day 14: Limbo

I started this health movement, all fired up about life, so ready and motivated. Then personal things came up and its hard not to revert back to crap. But then I realized I really don't want to go back to eating cooked food, I'll make allowances. For instance, my happy cooked food list includes: crab legs and popcorn.

Jacob pulled his sleeve up and said "Look at my muscles mom!!" as he munched on spinach. Beautiful.

I made the most vibrant juice today: Bok choy, wheatgrass, carrots, celery, cucumber, green apple and a few strawberries to sweeten the deal.

Breakfast smoothie: Frozen bananas, coconut milk, cherries, spinach, aloe vera juice and flax oil.

I'm really thinking about juice feasting to help my body rid itself of nasties but it is not a good time, there is too much in the air such as trying to find other work and moving and and and and...

That's it for now.

Day 12 Foreboding...

Ok as a fair warning, I am going to vent in this and admit that I have sunken to turning to a meal of cooked food for comfort.


Alright, as I mentioned yesterday, those "rumors" may actually turn out to be true (okay who am I kidding? I'm mostly likely going to be laid off). It feels as if the carpet has been swept out from under my feet, because finally, I have finally reached a point where I feel good about everything. I have a damn good job helping people with great benefits. What more could a single mom ask for? Not to rag on my son's father, but he has no way of providing insurance for Jakey and child support is very meager.

I have come so far, from working 2 jobs and struggling, I have been on foodstamps, I have accepted WIC, I have literally worked myself off all that. I did in home family therapy and worked as a waitress at a casino on the weekends and still couldn't make ends meet UNTIL I got this job. This beautiful beautiful job.

Jake is about to start preschool in Sept which is going to cost me a monthly tuition, I'm still in debt up to my eyeballs that I thought I was going to be able to start working on.

I'm very appreciative of the fact that my parents have clearly voiced that Jake and I can move in, no rent, we won't go hungry. I know I can draw unemployment. This displaces my boyfriend though. Uggh. My gut hurts.

On the health part of this, the juicer is fabulous. I feel fabulous but with the stress of all these thoughts, that I have tried to run out of my system (taking kids to park, played a bit of tag), I wanted to "dose" myself. I turned to food for comfort. We all went to Taco Time for dinner. The kids ate spinach before going as a bargain for getting such crap. I had the mexi platter. And it tasted good at first, and I really didn't feel guilt about eating it as much as impending doom. My stomach is totally rejecting it and is painfully cramping. And bring on the BLOAT!

No, I have learned a valuable lesson... no matter the stress, food is SOOOOOOOOO not the answer. So I'm going to forgive myself the pessimissm I allowed myself to indulge in and get my fanny in gear and HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST.

Day 11 Upset

So there is a rumor (ok strong rumor) that there may be laying off about to start at work. I can't even rant and rave about the horrible downsizes and cuts that are about to happen at work and the severe and HORRIBLE consequences it will have on our community and individuals.

Ok, I'm not gonna rant on that, BUT....... that leaves me anxious and worried about how to provide for my family.

All I could think about last night when I got home from work was, why am I trying to be healthy? I'm depressed now, I want a damn cheeseburger. I did not cave in, by the way.

So I've decided to be proactive, in case the worst happens and I did not purchase tickets to the Raw Foods Festival which actually brought tears to my eyes because I was so excited about it but I figure, I still have the internet and can continue to research to my little heart's content.

I'm really struggling to remain positive. I made an AWESOME breakfast smoothie: frozen banana, spinach, coconut milk, blueberries, aloe vera juice, flax oil and bee pollen. ( I know bee pollen is not vegan but I love the term I've seen individuals use "Beegan")

On top of that, Jakey's daddy had him last night and brought him home bright and early with a breakfast that consisted of a bag of caramel corn rice cakes and a package of Hubba Bubba gum.
So instead of freaking out, which I really felt like doing, I artfully took the bag away and exchanged it for a bowl of vanilla yogurt with the bonus of being able to chew a piece of gum if he ate it all and brushed his teeth.

Even as I type this, I have a few errands to run, exercise to get in, and new budgeting to consider but I can't help but feel crawling onto the couch to wallow in my own misery that I am creating. But no!!!! I shall be stronger than that.

I'm going to play wii fit with Jacob (2 birds with one stone, exercise and quality time with mommy) and then get my newly energized butt out to the bank and then back home for revised budgeting and then go to work.

Ok. This blogging thing is quite therapeutic. :)

I'm still raw and loving it.

Day 10 feeling Juicy

Got a juicer yesterday (thanks to my lovely mom deciding they don't use theirs enough). Wowser. Juicing is incredible. The feeling was fabulous, I felt the liquid energy course through me and it carried me through 8 hours of work and all I had for dinner was a banana and cherries. To date, I have lost 7 lbs and I feel GREAT!

Oliver's bloodsugar continues to remain stable (with the exception of early morning but we know the answer to that riddle: Lantus!)

Excited about breakfast smoothies

So today, is the 8th day of our odyssey. Holy cacao. We are happy. I feel WAY better. I actually laid in bed this morning up earlier than usual, but trying to make myself rest more because it was my day off. But all I could think about was my delicious breakfast smoothie I had in mind:

Frozen banana, blackberries, cherries, pineapple, spinach, aloe vera juice and flax oil and CACAO. I am energized and looking forward to the day ahead. We are off to price compare produce and get the most bang for our buck.


Happy trails everyone. :)

Day 3, revlations and pitfalls...

So I was up til about 5am this morning, my brain couldn't turn off, the flu/bronchitis/whatever this is WAS RAGING! Body aches, trouble breathing, its all draining out of my nose.. eww sorry. I had an ongoing fever. I thought for sure I was going to get up and go to urgent care and miss another day of work. But I woke up at around 9am, clearer, chest hurting a little less and the sx are more of just a cold. My brain feels clearer and no sign of a fever!! By no means do I feel 100% but I feel a little different about it. Its kinda weird.

So for breakfast, Jakey and I made our breakfast smoothie- frozen banana chunks, frozen blackberries, chocolate almond milk, flax oil, spinach, celery and carrots. He LOVES it. I felt pretty recharged as I did wake up feeling ravenous. Then I had some aloe vera juice and some water.

Then we decided to venture out to Marlene's Market and Deli. As I'm driving down 38th St. More than ever, I was noticing all the fast food, just food food food.. and not good for you food. Some of the smells were evil, I will admit.

So we end up eating at the organic salad bar which was really awesome, I let Jake make his own choices for his salad. He did choose some chicken, hardboiled egg and cheese, but he did pick veggies too!!! So... I chose to have half a hardboiled egg thrown into my veggie hodgepodge and 1 small hunk of mozzarella cheese, you know the kind that comes in caprese salad. Weirdly enough I thought this would set me off craving all things cooked, but I took one bite of the hardboiled egg and it did nothing for me so I gave it to Jakey. I did eat the cheese, and the texture was good. I also got my first fresh juice. It was green power machine- broccoli, celery, ginger, and some other green stuff. Jakey even liked it. I wish Oliver had been there. It was like a plethora of goodies, that just really made me feel excited/razzed about our new lifestyle change.

I have to say, I really need to invest in some hardware equipment, I like the juices and some of the other goodies I've discovered. at ASTRONOMICAL PRICES!! Holy mackeral, I wanted to try cacao nibs, but I saw the beans and for 10 bucks a bag, I thought why not? I just had one. EWWWWWWWWWWWW! Bitter.

I still have two nori dehydrated rolls and 2 "cookies". But I'm not in a rush to try them.

To note Oliver's bloodsugar, pretty damn stable last night, then before bed he was below 150 so he took 5 units trying to figure out this wake up in the am with astronomical BS, but around 3 or 4ish, he crashed low. He ate some mango but this morning around 10am was 450. Pretty daunting but overall his daytime and evening is crazily much better.


As a final side note-----> Since the day before I started this (Sunday July 5) weight and today's, I am 3.5 lbs LIGHTER.

Intense Cravings!

Ok so its late night, usually my munchie time. I'm still feeling pretty low, the fever is still off/on. I am not physically hungry, but thoughts of fried, cheesy yummy-ness pervade my brain. I have found that reading other blogs and websites on other's journey into raw vegan is helpful. Oliver is a bit grouchy but doing spectacular!

Wow it is pretty hard, thinking of hot delicious fatty melt in my mouth food but realistically I know that I will lousy afterwards and well emotionally wrecked as this is a challenge I want to conquor. Some plus's I've noticed about this lifestyle:

- LESS garbage, we're buying products with minimal packaging. I'm looking forward to going to the Farmer's Market on Saturday.

-More abundant energy (sadly to say I can't put to use as I am battling this illness)

-Feeling great and empowered and in control of my health

Oh and I am interested in attending

Day 2- Attack of the Avocado Pit

Morning arrived, with a wheezy painful chest and off/on fever. I couldn't get into the doctor until Friday, so if I still have a fever tomorrow I will go to urgent care in the morning. Did some more research which feels AWESOME to read inspiring stories of others trials and tribulations and ultimate success.

I get up, earlier than usual might I add, pretty fatigued but not willing to let feeling sick interfere with this new lifestyle. Trying to take it easy, I made a breakfast smoothie that included frozen banana chunks, almond milk (ok don't think this is 100% raw, but I'm still learning how to make the raw version), frozen blackberries, spinach, a couple carrots, and some chopped celery. And WHOLY MOLY GUACAMOLY! It was good, satisfying and filling. Best of all, Jacob drank a good helping of it and felt full as well.

So while I lay on the couch, Jacob did his Yoga for kids video. I'm envious because I can't wait to get back into a normal work out routine. Oliver got up for lunch and admist controversy over blogging this (thank you baby for letting me note this), an angry avocado pit STRUCK!

Off to the ER. His right hand was punctured by the knife. Everything seems a-okay now. I also HAVE to note that during the dizzy spell of sitting at the ER, I saw approximately 20 fast food commercials. And only being on day 2 of raw food, everything looked DEAD and disgusting. AND I really started to feel disgust for the large corporations pumping and promoting this junk that our kids crave.

So let's move on to Oliver's bloodsugar. Yesterday was by and far the best stable day we had in a long time. We both feel good. Except this morning he woke up with BS 500 which we are assuming is because he needs a long acting for while he's sleeping but we did know this. An interesting product I've been researching is chia seeds. I will post more on that when we get it.

So I came home, had some raw cashews, an apple and the rest of this mornings breakfast smoothie. Jakey on the other hand is quasi raw. He had turkey breast with raw almonds for lunch and some apple and cashews.

Dinner will be leftover mushroom, avocado mixture Oliver made last night, with possibly a salad and mango for dessert.

Stay tuned for Day 3 and our thrilling adventures in Raw-Ville!!!!

Day 1 of a Raw Food Lifestyle

Despite the fact that I am currently battling the flu (courtesy of beautiful Hanna Monster), we had decided to start this today and today we have started it! I've really been enjoying the literature out there.. among them Alissa Cohen, Jinjee and Storm and their 4 raw vegan kids, and Angela Stokes.

It also feels very good, despite the fact I'm sure we will be moving into the detox phase. It just feels right, you know? I'm tired of trying "diets." I'm ready to make a change for my health and the health of my family.


Most notably, today Oliver's blood sugar has been the most stable and LOWER in a while! I really want to purchase a dehydrator because some of these recipes look absolutely yummy.

Today I've had blueberries for breakfast, raspberries, 2 apples, mushrooms with avocado slices, a banana, a tomato. For dinner Oliver whisked up, an avocado, uncooked tofu, lemon juice, garlic and spices and portabella mushrooms. So despite the fact, my chest feels heavy like bronchitis and I have an off/on fever resulting in me leaving work, I have still feel very optimistic about this.

Oh and I also had raw cashews which tasted very meaty and satisfying.