Keeping on keeping on..

Just a tad bit shy of one month since watching that film, and while I am not vegan, I am vegetarian. Haven't once had a bite of meat, actually makes me queasy smelling it and BOY those smells are pervasive with the amount of fast food chains.. just a wafting down the street. So I've managed to lose 1 pound but gain an excess of health issues while my goal at aiming at only one cooked meal a day has slipped to 2, 3, maybe 4 meals a day. I keep examining my patterns well and my family's patterns. Budget plays a HUGE factor. The more cooked (and unhealthy) I eat, the more depressed, the more I crave greasy nasty comfort food to fill that void. And its a downward spiral, enraged by Oliver's ups and downs with his blood sugar. Not to mention now the struggle with Jacob's father over vegetarianism which seems to be more of an issue to him than me wanting Jake to eat high raw. It's like he and my parents are shoving meat at him to spite me. Its so very frustrating and considering the fact that NONE of us has health insurance anymore, we should be uber conscious of our health. I keep thinking if I could just be more creative with raw...... if I could just squeeze more money out of the budget.... if I could just be less stressed and depressed about life... if if if if.. the list goes on. I feel like I'm going to bust. I feel as if the whole world (ok exaggeration!!!) depends on me providing. And I want so many things for my family, health and happiness. But it is very tiring and I want to hide under a rock.