The last few days have been pretty busy, we started to run low on food and I had one day where I didn't have any green smoothies or juices and I just felt like a wretch. I was grumpy and didn't feel energized. But then WOOO unemployment check came in and it was a mad dash for the store. Our cart was a plethora of fruits and veggies which managed to garner a few weird looks from other patrons of the store. The only cooked food I stuck into the cart was a pack of baked tofu teriyaki style. Man I wanted that.
We sped home and had this lovely meal above. It was organic spinach, organic plum, some red apple slices, avocado with fresh organic dill and a hunk of that tofu. Which turned out I wasn't that interested in the tofu.
I've been noticing an integral internal change FOR THE BETTER. I never struggled with turning vegetarian. It was a very natural switch. But I did struggle with turning vegan, cheese and butter were hard to give up. And while I have had plenty of opportunity to indulge in these vices, which were even encouraged and readily available. I found that I simply did not care about them enough to eat them. And it wasn't like it was torture. It wasn't as if "OH MY GOD I WANT THAT but I'm sticking to my resolution." It wasn't out of sheer stubbornness that I didn't eat them.
I honestly don't want them. The cravings have gone and really I was struggling with that, I was scared that being vegan would be a forced thing for me. Because nachos were just about my top 10 food (without meat of course) and while I loved my health, I felt entitled to indulge in it.
And although I aspire to more raw-ness. I am thankful for my ups and downs and weird patterns of transition. And I have to give Oliver credit for saying "Jess, just transition to vegetarian to vegan to raw" And I was all gung-ho for "NO! It has to be 100% raw or nothing" No wonder I have had a funky roller coaster ride. But its true that your body will tell you when you are ready. I don't know if it has anything to do with my 1/3 an inch visitor in the womb.. but I am thankful and I am happy. And I feel positive. And I respect myself for coming this far. And I'm excited to keep on keeping on.
We love to eat around here, I'm not trying to fool anyone. And before we took our health seriously and when we were in a pit of despair about mundane everyday issues such as finances and so forth, we sought comfort in cheap fast food. In fact, I loved eating out. Compliments of my parents growing up, restaurants were more comfortable than eating at home because we ate out SO MUCH. Now our conversations regard more about what we'd like to do together. Usually Oliver and I would talk about where we wanted to go to eat. LOL.
Moving onwards, I actually met my doctor yesterday. And I like her. I initially thought to not tell the doctor my eating habits for fear of ostracism and that general "are you crazy" look. Her reaction was "OH LET'S check your blood work"........... and............
....................................................................... results are in... Above average on everything. And she didn't seem skeptical after that. She'll do. :) Next appointment is in august and we should be able to hear the heartbeat. I am super stoked about that. I remember that feeling when I heard Jacob. And now my baby is getting to be a big brother. Awww shucks, damn hormones making me want to tear up. ok ok... moving on....
Hope everyone has a lovely day...
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