Our Connor

February 22nd, around 630am ish, I woke up to use the restroom and noticed that my water had broken. I was in such a good mood after that. I called St. Joe's to let them know what happened and we would be coming in. I kissed Jacob and explained what was happening and by 8ish, Oliver and I were out the door. We stopped off at Top Food for some Kombucha and a fruit bowl. I was practically giddy, not having any contractions but knowing that soon we would be holding our son.

Arrived and checked in around 830. I think I was still only 2 cm dilated and around 75 percent effaced. The next several hours, I was a happy camper, pacing the room trying to bring on contractions. By 1pm however they brought up the possibility of helping the contractions along. I had really hoped for as little intervention as possible with this birth. If anyone knows anything about Jacob's birth then they know why.

I started to get concerned as I wasn't having hardly any contractions and I didn't want to end up with an infection like last time. After some consideration I agreed to take oral cytotek to help soften the cervix and bring on contractions. By 5pm, family starting pouring in and I still was full of smiles, having more contractions but they weren't staying. I was pacing like a mad woman down the halls and even raced Jake. I'm sure I looked ridiculous holding my big belly with both hands and running in my socks and gowns.

After the last dose of cytotek around 7pm the contractions had come on with a vengeance! And they were staying and it felt like I wasn't getting any reprieve. Hanna and Ollie stayed until 8ish and by then I was sure I couldn't keep a happy face for them. I was walking, laying, moving! It hurt! I clung to Oliver and wanted to bite him but somehow restrained myself.

I dilated pretty quickly after that, 5, 7, 9, complete! I used the tub with the jets for a while, I cried, I cursed and I cursed some more. I'm not sure what time but I finally broke down and asked for the something for the pain but NOT an epidural. They gave me a dose of fentanyl and it was supposed to take the edge off but it did NOTHING for the pain.

Pain that only got worse. I kept telling myself that I was doing what I wanted. Least interventions. Somehow through all this pain I remained HUNGRY. They let me have some saltines and some grape juice diluted in water.

Oh to describe the final feelings before pushing, I could feel everything this time around. I could feel him move down. I just remember those final moments before pushing as laying on my side clinging to the railing begging for drugs. And wonderful Oliver rubbing my back endlessly.

Finally the time had come to push and I remember resisting because there was some primitive self preservation part of my brain saying if I did push I would rip myself in half. Surprisingly I was told it only took 20 minutes to push him out and it did feel relatively short now that I think back on it. I was a wild woman, yelling and I remember telling the doctor to just PULL HIM OUT! I'm told he pulled an exorcist move and had his head completely turned around opposite his body. Glad I didn't see that as it took all my energy and focus to just push. Something inside clicked once I started pushing, I was determined to do it fast because if I didn't, I was scared I wouldn't be able to at all.

He was born at 3:41am February 23, 2011, with a proud Daddy and Grandma Lisa in the room. It's a cheesy saying but the moment they put him on my belly, all the pain vanished. He was alert and beautiful and I had such a feeling of accomplishment. We had brought this awesome bundle of happiness into the world.

38 weeks and 2 days along...

I'm mentally and vocally cheering Connor on. "COME OUT" hahahahaha. Today's green smoothie rocked the house. It was Kale, vanilla almond milk, cinammon, hemp seeds, chia seeds and hemp seed butter. Fantastic! The greatest news ever is that I've managed to hook my grandmother into having smoothies and juices. While she hasn't changed any other eating habit at least I got her to incorporate some nutritional goodness in. :) Yay me.

In other news, I've just entered this contest.
Its from Kristen Suzanne. So fingers, eyes, toes crossed! To win and for the baby to come out!

Meyer Lemons

I love the smell of meyer lemons. They bring a smile to my face. I did a lot of raw/vegan blogs this morning to help inspire and motivate me. Oliver and I are talking about joining a gym as he feels its the only way for him to work out and I'm excited that it would be a healthy way to spend time together. Also to model to the kids, an alternative to sitting on our rumps and playing video games. Although I do enjoy those, I am quite the nerd.

I'm waiting on some paperwork on school loans and deferment so I can then apply for FAFSA and then apply to my MSW program. I know it has been a common theme the last two years as has been this raw/vegan health movement. But I feel strongly that both avenues are worth pursuing. And obtaining!!

Today's intake:

Breakfast

Banana
Green juice (Cucumber, kale, celery, apple, pear and meyer lemon)
Water
Supplements (Prenatal, iron, DHA and Vit D)

Lunch:

An avocado smooshed with garlic powder and a teeny bit of vegannaise, then mixed it into a huge bowl of sweet baby tender greens
Caraway orange
Kombucha tea

Snack

Leftover vegan mac and cheese (small portion left). Since it has been sitting in the fridge, I used about a tsp of vegannaise after warming to make it moister and creamier
A small bowl of plain kettle potato chips with melted daiya cheddar cheese (was really craving something comforting)

Dinner

Since my Snack was practically an early dinner, I opted for half a banana and a whole kiwi as I was making those as side dishes for jake's dinner (He had a tofurkey sandwich on Dave's killer bread, and spinach)

My boys..

I'm grateful for my son Jacob, who is my awesome little man. I'm grateful for the wonderful little guy growing inside of me. I can't wait to meet him face to face.

Day 1 of real upkeep

Had a glass of water upon waking up this morning and was craving a smoothie.

Breakfast:

Banana
Vitamin powder
Hemp protein powder
Organic vanilla extract
Vanilla almond milk
Frozen strawberries
Tiny bit of raw honey to sweeten

Lunch:

1 Bottle of Synergy Kombucha
Vegan Mac and Cheese (recipe from Kristen Suzanne) An A+++++ recipe. Delish
Roasted Broccoli

Dinner:

Child's size bowl of Veggie pho (Bok choy, cabbage, carrots, onions, basil, sprouts)
1 spring roll minus the bbq pork pulled out of it

Snack:

Bowl of leftover vegan mac and cheese
Cup of Dark chocolate almond milk
1 1/2 Kashi cookies

I'm feeling very motivated today. :)

Addicted to the Shield

I've been on a shield binge.. On season 5 now, very good show. Good drama. :) So I'm going to try to blog my food intake once again for the hundredth time. I have good intentions, really I do. I lack backbone. I'm good for the sprint but poop out for the long haul. I'm still searching for that something that will help me keep on keeping on. So without further ado, here's my run down so far today. I'm having to walk Jake to school now as I'm too huge to drive so I'm getting about a mile a day exercise. Woohoo me.

-Big glass of water
-Spoonful of raw honey
-Half a pint of blueberries
-Banana and more water


PLANNED for rest of day:

- Green juice (kale, cucumber, celery, lemon and apple)
-Broccoli slaw made with vegannaise
-oranges for snacks
-Dinner is looking like stir fried veggies with brown rice and beans

Kristen's Giveaway...

I have drawn great inspiration from this blog http://kristensraw.blogspot.com/. I'm currently perusing her transitions recipe book, very exciting. Had my 32 week check up this Tuesday, everything looks great. Connor got the hiccups as I laid down to have his heartbeat listened to. Hilarious!!! My belly continues to expand and he continues to be an active lil guy and I'm realllllllllllyyyy getting excited to see him.

Our eating continues to be middle of the road..... but onward we go with goals in mind.

I'm also entering this contest.
Check it out :)

Happy trails.

Hypnobabies euphoria..

Good morning! Besides the fact xmas break is over and I had to get up early to defrost the car, struggle into the car and take my kiddo to school, its pretty dang good. Driving is a wee bit of a challenge as I'm uber short and my belly is uber big. Connor doesn't like sharing space with the steering wheel. Yesterday was full of nutritional goodies and I feel pretty darn good. I had a HUGE salad and green juice from Marlene's plus a delicious kombucha. I made an avocado smish smash with sprouted tofu, chopped tomatoes and a lil horseradish mustard. I served them with GF rice crackers. I do plan on looking into that more thoroughly, the GF thing. Lots of water, oranges etc. I listened to a hypnobabies cd last night and am thoroughly amazed. I'll explain more later, I think the sound of my typing is bugging sleeping Oliver.

31 weeks along...

Really feeling ready to hold Connor in my arms. He continues to grow and is very active. For the most part, I feel great. I do get out of breath a lot and have had some dizzy/fainting spells. I'm not exercising though. I have a prenatal yoga dvd that keeps calling me but to be honest, I've been enjoying being a complete and utter lazy butt. Once Connor gets here and with Jakey's school/soccer and then my own MSW program in Sept, I won't have ANY of that time EVER. I've been reading up on Hypnobabies as I desire a natural birth. I am open to the possibilities but my last birth was horrendous as most every woman has heard those traumatizing stories. Since this is the last baby I'm having, I'd like to have it on my terms LOL. I just downloaded this great book. I love love love Kristen Suzanne, her blog. Its been very inspiring. While we have not been vegan, we still continue to try to make healthier choices. Juices, smoothies, a plethora of fruits available and in front of us. My meat consumption is wayyyy down. Cheese consumption not so much. I take my vitamins. And funny since I started eating meat, etc again... my iron levels marked me as anemic and I've had to take another supplement. Blah. OH well enough blabbing for now.

Snowy weather...

Baby Connor is now kicking me back when I poke my stomach. Great fun. Love love love my belly, may not like the rest of the weight gain (which I've already gained almost as much as I did with Jake by 9months). Knock on wood, no new stretch marks on the belly, only the old white shiny ones. I've been consistent about oiling up my belly with all sorts of goodies (coconut oil, jojoba oil and Burt's Bee's Mama belly stuff). It snowed yesterday, school is closed. Roads look icy. Eeks. I need to get out today.
My eating has been somewhat fair. Continue to have green juices, didn't have any meat yesterday. I did have some cheese though. Damn that opiate affect. Had lots of fruit though. I'm eating through a Costco size bag of Clementines on my own it seems. Yum. Love that Costco now sells Larabar. I have to be in a really detoxed state to enjoy them though. I had the apple pie one for breakfast and it didn't taste that appealing but I do like the ingredients.
I've been psyching myself out by reading raw/vegan blogs, its a great motivator. However Thanksgiving is just around the corner. From re-reading my own blog I notice the summer time seems to be a much easier season to try going raw and finding some measure of success. The desire is still there to reach that, I guess I'm just taking my time. I seem to be lacking impulse control. "ooo that looks yummy, get in my belly." But I really want my family to be healthy.

And the beat goes on....

Here I am, it's noon. I've already been to the grocery store to take Gram to find some Gluten Free goodies. I made a delicious smoothie this morning and now I'm sipping on a GT Dave's Kombucha. Bliss in a bottle. I also had some fresh squeezed tangerine juice, yum yum. Still working on the meat free thing, its not like I even like the meat when I eat it. Its weird. Last night mom made a chicken and rice casserole. I had some.

My dad wanted to take Jake to IHOP so I had him eat some spinach and drink tangerine juice before going. He really does love his spinach. Its awesome to see. I alternate giving him spinach and a lil baggie of carrots in his lunch.

Smoothie:
Fresh banana
Frozen mixed berries
Chia Seeds
Spinach
Coconut milk
Fresh squeezed tangerine juice

Its a sublime type of morning...

Got up early to take Shanelle to school (7am is way too blasted early), came back. Got Jake ready for school. We had a slice of GF Energe brown rice loaf. Not too bad, had to put a tbsp of peanut butter on it though to mask the weird texture of it. Jake ate it all. Had a fresh tangerine and some water. Then had a cup of So delicious coconut milk. My absolute FAV!!! Took him to school, listened to sublime on the way back with the sun shining contemplating my beautiful green juice of the day. If one thing has stuck with me these almost 2 years of vegan/vegetarianism/rawness, it has been juices. Oh yes, I feel positively cranky if I miss a day of having one. And kombucha but thats another story.

Sublime Green Juice:
1/2 head Kale
2 cucumbers
2 green apples
1 bosc pear
Juice of 2 meyer lemons

Fantastic!!!

I'm going to have whole wheat spaghetti that I made for dinner last night for lunch. Its a butternut squash sauce. And then possibly a green smoothie and an artichoke plus fruit for dinner/snacks the rest of the night.
Still working on vegetarianism, had a few bites the last 2 days. So today will be meat free.

Here I gooooo again.....

6 months along....

It definitely seems a common theme with me to have long absences of blogging. And that is due to the fact that I once again flipflop weave through healthy eating. The one constant has been green juices everyday. We've slackened up on the smoothie making... and animal products have crept back into our menu. There has been a lot of changes going on. We've moved into my parents so that I can prepare to go get my Masters in Social Work degree. It will take me 3 years. Bleh. But it is the smartest decision for our future.

The pregnancy is going great. We're having a boy. Connor James. He is a BIG boy. Already weighing in at over a pound. He's VERY active. I've had lots of dizzy spells and have fainted twice. But other than that I feel healthy as a horse.

I guess I could spend the next half hour blabbing about how I vow to get back to raw but I won't waste my breath. I will just make a mental note of trying again. Try try try again, right? So today mark's vegetarianism day.

Where does the time go?

I'll tell you where it goes... ...... too fast.. into unhealthiness and sloth. This is my attempt at recapturing that sparkling feeling, of being clean, eating clean and nutritious. I have tripped over my own feet and let convenience and cheapness affect my family's health. I suspect the fact that somewhere still deep inside I feel that a pregnant lady can still indulge in her cravings, although moderation is key, I have lost that.

So here I go again, going after what I want and hoping this time, THIS TIME I can stick with it. Wish me luck.

Dear Jakob....

I've been very concerned about you! Thank you for contacting me as I couldn't access your FB page and now it won't let me reply to your email message. I am so sorry for the difficult memories you are facing and I wish I could offer more support. You are a WONDERful person. I am sending positive thoughts your way and will miss your companionship on FB. :) I will def blog more often now. Please let me know if there is anything I could do to help, OKKKKK?

~Jessica (who is still struggling to remain raw)

Dreams of gold....

Yeehaw. I had a dream I was panning for gold (we're actually going to pan for rubies in Virginia City, MO) and I found a HUGE golden bar and I could feel myself swimming across a cold shallow stream to get it... it was gravelly and I saw myself getting closer and closer.... And THEN.. my father got a hold of it and cut it in half like a piece of tofu and gave half of it to another family member and then he kept a piece. And I ran around like a crazy lady throwing a tantrum.

Leaving in less than an hour and I still have to feed the kids, bathe Jake, grab myself a shower and make sure I have everything packed because invariably, I have forgotten something. But I have managed to feed myself, feed my FB addiction and sit here staring at Spongebob being hypnotized into stupidity and sloth.

Ok, off I go. I'm going to miss my man so damn much. This will be the longest we have gone in over 2 and half years without seeing each other.. 4 whole days. WOWSers. And I'll be gone from my doggy... I hope she doesn't tear up the house when Oliver is at work.. eeeeksss...

Blabbing...

Its been almost 2 weeks since my trip to Wenatchee and my spectacular burn that turned into my great looking tan.. and I'm peeling. Just thought I'd share that.

It has been been a not so fun 2 weeks as the nausea took over and Oliver got afflicted with a nasty tooth infection. The worse part of that is he doesn't have insurance yet. I hate watching him suffer but with antibiotics that we hoard from family (for this occassion), it generally takes him 3-4 days and then it goes down. Now I'm not a big antibiotic fan but they do have their place for sure.

As from my last post, I have strayed from the vegan path and with a little more forgiveness to myself and looking at the bigger picture it helped me get past the worst. And I feel better today and *fingers, toes, eyes crossed* I feel as if it really has passed and I'm starting to feel a little zippier. *zip zip*

Let me confess my dietary sins: I had:
-Nacho's at the mall with the kids (although I swear they gobbled it faster than I could manage to sneak my fingers in for a bite at the risk of losing my fingers). It was just beans, tortilla chips, melted cheddar cheese, tomatoes, guac, sc, and olives.

-A small cheese fries from Charley's subs. I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this the best. Dipped in ketchup and honey mustard. Oliver sat there and watched me eat it. He has got the will of a saint now.

- A little popcorn and yes those damn sour candies while we treated ourselves at Inception. (FANTASTIC movie btw)

-And yesterday I was MUCHO hungry, I mean I felt ravenous. I made "chicken" patties (morningstar farms) and rice with tomato slices. Jake absolutely loved it. Now I do believe this type of fake meat is not healthy but I understand its importance in people transitioning to a meat free way of life.

What I've learned:
Meat absolutely holds no appeal, I guess I still struggle with other animal products. But I feel I have come over this hump.

We both felt very sluggish after eating that fake meat and it has def prompted me to have a high raw day today.

I may have forgotten the banana in this morning's smoothie but dang it is good. I finally got my package from Vitacost in the mail yesterday. (A kid's multivamin/mineral powder for their smoothies, Hemp protein powder, coconut oil, chia seeds, jojoba oil (for my stretch marks), vegan dha supplements, chlorella, raw cashews)

OHHHHHHHHHH.... and today is the first day I'm supposed to recieve my box of organic fruits and veggies from Terra Organics.

Ok I've blabbed enough this morning. Dang I feel good. I wish everyone felt this way.

cherry madness....

Came back from Wenatchee with over 23 lbs of cherries and morning sickness. It was a sheer blast there, the heat was INCREDIBLE! I am actually tan now.

It has been a difficult week and half since coming home. Yesterday I was completely down with nausea. Out of commission and couldn't take the kids home. Oliver has a damn tooth infection and couldn't take them back either. So poor kids had to suffer through two very cranky adults.

On to my eating habits, they have been erratic. I'm finding I'm either not hungry and nauseous or ravenous and then nauseous. And I'm trying to force myself to eat at regular intervals but it is just not working out. I have backstepped into consuming some cheese. We ordered pizza the other night, thin crust with pineapple and olive. You know its really not as tasty as my brain remembers it.

I am trying to keep lots of juice in me, I am still consuming over a quart of fresh juice a day. Smoothie have lost their appeal but I am making myself drink one this morning. (Left over fruit salad, more banana, flax seeds, frozen cherries, and spinach)

And I'm disappointed in myself for having totally neglected any type of physical workout. But honestly I am just so worn out.. for having done nothing! LOL I slept 9 hours last night and I think I could go back to bed.. blah..

I know this will pass, and I'll have rebound energy and no more icky sickness. I'll just keep trying my best.

And my fingers are still purple from pitting cherries.

The weather is phenomenal....

It is actually summer here in the PNW. It gives me the opportunity to wear my cute sun dresses. Tee hee. I was chatting with someone I met on here and they asked how I was going to deal with raising a High raw-vegan baby in today's society.. *sigh*.

I had a huge grapefruit for breakfast and some of Oliver's green smoothie. (Coconut milk, spinach, frozen cranberries, flax seeds) and then another heavenly plum. I had to run to the store today to get more plums. I think I am going to turn into a plum. I am wearing a plum colored sundress today.

Then I had some kombucha tea peach flavored. I was worried about the caffeine as I usually don't have any and I researched a little bit and saw some people for and some people against Kombucha during pregnancy. I really enjoyed the refreshing beverage and I feel good. So I probably won't have anymore to be on the safe side.

I am going to be computer free this weekend. I am leaving in the morning to pick up Hanna and Ollie from Shoreline then zooming on over to Wenatchee for the weekend to visit Oliver's parents. Boohoo, Oliver can't go due to work. And I really don't like to drive on long car trips but .... oh well. I am going unplugged. Except for my cell phone of course. Going to enjoy that hot weather and I do believe we are going Cherry picking.


Happy Trails everyone. :)

Surprising the doctor...

The last few days have been pretty busy, we started to run low on food and I had one day where I didn't have any green smoothies or juices and I just felt like a wretch. I was grumpy and didn't feel energized. But then WOOO unemployment check came in and it was a mad dash for the store. Our cart was a plethora of fruits and veggies which managed to garner a few weird looks from other patrons of the store. The only cooked food I stuck into the cart was a pack of baked tofu teriyaki style. Man I wanted that.

We sped home and had this lovely meal above. It was organic spinach, organic plum, some red apple slices, avocado with fresh organic dill and a hunk of that tofu. Which turned out I wasn't that interested in the tofu.

I've been noticing an integral internal change FOR THE BETTER. I never struggled with turning vegetarian. It was a very natural switch. But I did struggle with turning vegan, cheese and butter were hard to give up. And while I have had plenty of opportunity to indulge in these vices, which were even encouraged and readily available. I found that I simply did not care about them enough to eat them. And it wasn't like it was torture. It wasn't as if "OH MY GOD I WANT THAT but I'm sticking to my resolution." It wasn't out of sheer stubbornness that I didn't eat them.

I honestly don't want them. The cravings have gone and really I was struggling with that, I was scared that being vegan would be a forced thing for me. Because nachos were just about my top 10 food (without meat of course) and while I loved my health, I felt entitled to indulge in it.
And although I aspire to more raw-ness. I am thankful for my ups and downs and weird patterns of transition. And I have to give Oliver credit for saying "Jess, just transition to vegetarian to vegan to raw" And I was all gung-ho for "NO! It has to be 100% raw or nothing" No wonder I have had a funky roller coaster ride. But its true that your body will tell you when you are ready. I don't know if it has anything to do with my 1/3 an inch visitor in the womb.. but I am thankful and I am happy. And I feel positive. And I respect myself for coming this far. And I'm excited to keep on keeping on.


We love to eat around here, I'm not trying to fool anyone. And before we took our health seriously and when we were in a pit of despair about mundane everyday issues such as finances and so forth, we sought comfort in cheap fast food. In fact, I loved eating out. Compliments of my parents growing up, restaurants were more comfortable than eating at home because we ate out SO MUCH. Now our conversations regard more about what we'd like to do together. Usually Oliver and I would talk about where we wanted to go to eat. LOL.

Moving onwards, I actually met my doctor yesterday. And I like her. I initially thought to not tell the doctor my eating habits for fear of ostracism and that general "are you crazy" look. Her reaction was "OH LET'S check your blood work"........... and............

....................................................................... results are in... Above average on everything. And she didn't seem skeptical after that. She'll do. :) Next appointment is in august and we should be able to hear the heartbeat. I am super stoked about that. I remember that feeling when I heard Jacob. And now my baby is getting to be a big brother. Awww shucks, damn hormones making me want to tear up. ok ok... moving on....

Hope everyone has a lovely day...